Woah Didn't See That Coming
by WolvesFire77
Summary: His last thought: Primus this could have gone better. Prowler/Jazz inside with some faint -maybe- Ratchet/Ironhide.


Author's Notes: XD I had some fun imagining this one. Hope you do to! Anyway please enjoy the crack!fic that is presented to you below.

* * *

I watched him as he wore that giddy smile and jumped over the back of the couch; peds just grazing Sunstreaker's head. (But thank Primus he didn't notice. That's all we need is another one of Sunstreaker's episodes. I still have pains in my back from when he threw me across the room. And let me tell you, it ain't fun flying when you know your a grounded mech.)

Taking another sip of my deliciously sweet highgrade I watched as he made himself comfortable.

"Sorry fer being late guys, but I had some rather important things to do. Very important. Ya know."

"And these somethings wouldn't happen to be called Prowl, would they?"

Jazz's grin broadened and I felt that familiar flame of anger ignite.

"He was kinda...upset...about the meeting with Cybertron's Tactical Security today so I jus' wanted to comfort him. Ya know, make him feel better."

Soft laughs arose from the pits of everyone's vocalizer, well everyone except me. He suddenly sat stalk-straight in his seat with his visor wide and flashing almost white from his excitement. He looked around and said, matter of factly, "It turns out going away sex is _WAY_ better than make up sex! And we all know how great that is."

Sunstreaker leaned back looking interested. Well why wouldn't he? Sex,_ Primus_ I hate using such a **crude** word, was always of his interests. Especially when he could learn something from it.

"Really."

"Oh slag _yes_. I'm still feelin' it. And the sounds he made. **HOLY PRIMUS!**"

He flopped back into his seat, that stupid grin on his face had yet to stop growing.

"I love dominating him like that! It's just so...ugh! Exciting!"

"Ok Jazz don't get all aroused now. I don't think no one wants to see you overload from just a memory file."

"Especially when we've got energon half consumed."

Ratchet made a none-comical sound and leaned back accidentaly bumping Ironhide's arm. He turned to the red mech half smiling. "Sorry about that." The red mech smiled back and bumped his shoulder with the other's. "No harm done."

I was amazed at how easily I got side tracked. Well no matter. Turning my attention back to the infuriating conversation I caught the tail end of a statement. One very...unexpected tail end.

"...well who wouldn't? He may be one stubborn glitch, but mind it, he's got one pretty nice piece of aft behind that fraggin attitude that alot of us wouldn't mind taking."

I didn't like where this conversation was going. Well atleast Jazz seamed to wise up to what they were really saying.

"What'd'ya mean Sunny?"

"Well think about it, when he first was stationed here with us-"

"Basically before we knew what he was like."

Interjected Sideswipe; earning himself a quick glare from his twin.

"-everyone tried seducing him."

But my audios caught another voice that I didn't care to figure out who it belonged too.

"Hey! Not everyone is an interfacing-addict like most of you fragged up glitch of a mech."

A smirk found it's way onto my features, judging by the pitch it sounded like one of the temporary femme's stationed here while Elita-1 was visiting Optimus. I was right, I saw the femme walk over and stand behind the couch opposite of the one Jazz sat on. She settled him with a stern look, which looked more like an almost glare, and I actually liked the panicked look he harbored.

"You better be careful Jazz. Prowl's still a mechlet compaired to you. And you know how probable it is for them to spark."

"Yeah and you wouldn't want to be sparking him. Not now."

Looks like the femme had a friend.

"And especially not when we're in a code green. The Decepticons are too predictable."

"Isn't that a good thing though?"

"Not if they know a new life is coming into the world."

"It's just a warning Jazz. Be careful when interfacing with him on a constant note."

"Well 'ai ain't rough. Well...not that much. Besides we use them as-"

'-an excuse to get out of doing your weekly meetings on security. Don't try and fool me Jazz. I know what you two do in his office."

Jazz nodded and sat back. "Yeah, yeah I know."

Sunstreaker turned his head to give Jazz a bored look.

"Prowls younger than you?"

Slag yes. By vorns even! I still don't know why my creation fell for a mech like Jazz. Stupid fragger of a mech: Jazz!

"Well yeah. Ya can't tell?"

"No, should I be able too?"

"Well you can just tell by-uh you know what? Naw."

"Aww come on!"

"Fine, Fine. Take Bluestreak for example."

Oh so now he's using my _other_ creation as an example? Yup there goes my patience.

"Kay, what about him?"

"When your with him you can tell Blue's younger than you."

"Well yeah. He's told me."

"No I mean when you like recharge or something. You know? It's just like...I don't know an instincs or something. Never mind, what were we talking about?"

What's this about Blue and Sunstreaker? Oh I'm going to have to talk to him about that.

"Oh Prowl's aft."

Jazz tensed up and nodded. "Oh yeah. I 'member now."

"Then remember when you warned _**AND**_ threatened everyone to stay away from him."

"Well I had to. I could see he was gettin' all irritated by everyone chasing after him."

"Then you became a friend to him."

"Then friends with benefits."

"Then you finally got him to trust you and went out on that one night everyone got overenergized..."

"...and stole his 'pure' spark."

"Hey, he never had none to begin with."

"A spark?"

"No a pure one."

"Right."

"Wait...he was already broken in?"

"Tha's not what I meant. He was a very mischievous little bot before I came along."

"Either way, the way you two started your relationship was kinda...off."

"Hey it wasn't off."

"Really? because being asked if he wanted to go out_ **AFTER **_you've interfaced with him isn't kinda off."

"If anything it was late. Not off."

"Well either way it went good for you two."

"Right from the start. Just like those squishy-"  
"-mushy-"  
"-sappy-"  
"-girly-"  
"-little shows Carly watches. Huh Jazz?"

"Actually...not really. He was...with another mech...when he first came here."

This was exactly the reason I hated it when Jazz bragged about interfacing with my creation. If he so much as says something inappropriate I'm stepping in. Slag keeping me and my creation a secret! There was a reason my creation didn't talk about his personal life out in the open and I wasn't going to let that half glitched mechof a bot ruin everything for my precious youngling.

"Woah really!?"

"Do we know him?"

"Yep."

I glared at the other from where I sat and noticed he caught exactly what I was intending for him.

"Well tell us!"

I put my head up a little higher to make sure he saw my expression and tilted it to the side to add emphasis (something I learned from Mirage) but didn't cease my glare any bit.

"Yes Jazz, please tell us."

He turned his head passed the eager looks the twins were shooting at him and looked at me, getting the heat of my glare. I saw that moment of hesitation and personally I kinda liked knowing I caused it.

"Sorry guys that's kinda personal fer my Prowler. It ain't my business ta be voicein' that kinda info if ain't said already."

Leaning back I finished off my cube, ignoring the tingling sensation every level of high grade had. But when I was in the middle of breaking the cube's field I saw him sit up, smiling that ever stupid smile. Primus I was getting real tired of that stupid smile. The twins both looked at himat the same time, and I must admit that always amuses me. Honestly, they both look like a pair of trained show dogs when they do that, anyway he jumped to his feet and threw a two fingered salute to the remaining 'bots in the room as he practically ran to the door.

"Where you going Jazz?"

Flashing one of his signature smiles he said "Duty calls!"

I knew fraggin well what he meant, and that just ruined my day. So I looked to the side and said "Don't you mean your cables calling."

And the moment I said that I heard someone say "That too." Hah that brought a smirk to my face.

He stopped in the doorway blocking the sliding panel with his hand. He seamed to want to glare at me, but he smiled deviously none the less.

"Don't be jealous Smokey, just cause you can't have what you want."

Ohh...he's treading on _VERY_ thin ice now.

~~~~x~~~~

With an extra pep in his step Jazz sauntered down the hall. He'd just gotten a message from an overly excited Prowl, who had just gotten back from his one day trip, to meet him in the rec room, but when he neared the metal panels of entry to the large room he heard the pleasurable sounds of Prowl's laughter. A smile crossed his features as he let his mind wander.

_Ahhh Prowler..._

But then he stopped as he realized something.

_Hey, Prowl never laughs for anyone except me. And he ain't one ta talk ta himself. Why would he be...?_

Shaking his head he proceeded to the sensors where the doors registered his proximity and opened just in time. He sauntered in and nearly stalled at the sight before him. Prowl was smiling, almost laughing, his arms wrapped tightly around the other mech's waist, with Smokescreens arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. He caught the attention of a Datsun, and it wasn't the one he wanted.

The blue mech looked at him noticing his stricken face. A smile crossed his features and Jazz could almost hear Smokescreen say _'who's jealous now Jazz?'_ Prowl noticed the sudden tense silence and looked up, only to smile and practically jump up to run to Jazz. Before he knew it Jazz had Prowl wrapping his arms around his neck and hugging him.

"Oh Jazz you'll never guess what just happened!"

"Well judgin' by your actions...it's gotta be good."

Prowl pulled back and leaned his forehead against Jazz's, peering into his visor and catching the Porche's optics.

"Oh it is."

Prowl slid out of Jazz's grip and sat down next to Smokescreen again.

"Sit down Jazz." A stern voice commanded him.

The visored mech glared at the Datsun when Prowl wasn't looking, he didn't want Prowl seeing their glaring match for it would only bring problems trying to explain it to the tactician.

"Ok well you know how I had that meeting with Prime today?"

Jazz nodded, leaning back in his seat across from the two and placing his arms atop the back of the two seater couch.

"Yup."

Prowl's smile grew.

"Well he told me something."

Jazz couldn't help the smile that formed at the sight of a happy Prowl. But his gaze momentarily flew to the other mech sitting ever so closly to his mech.

_One false move and I'm gonna be all over him worse than seekers on a new pair of engine turbines._

The blue mech watched the other and Jazz studied his posture. He was laid back like Jazz, exactly like Jazz as a matter of fact, but he had his left 'anckle' set a top the top of his right knee.

"An 'dis something would be...?"

Prowl leaned forward and put his hands flat on the table in front of him as if that would intensify the moment. For a click it did in Jazz's circuits.

"He...offered me............the position of Second in Command in his division!"

Jazz's optics shot from the Blue mech straight to the smiling Datsun in front of him. He sat stalk straight smiling just as manically as Prowl was.

**"PRIMUS PROWL!"**

He jumpedover the table and scooped Prowl up to his feet to engage in a passionate kiss accompanied by a tight hug. And when he was done he interlocked his hands behind Prowl's lower back and rested them on his aft, oh and how Jazz made sure to have the other mech see.

Prowl leaned back, still smiling, and rested his hands on the front of Jazz's chassis.

"I can't believe it! Did'ja tell 'im yes?"

Prowl smirked and looked to the side.

"Maybe, maybe not."

Jazz's smile turned predatory as he wiggled a little, intentionally pulling Prowl even more against him. Unlocking his hands he pulled the mech up a little with a firm grip on his aft allowing Prowl to wrap his legs around his waist. He leaned his forehead against Prowl's and practically growled "Damn playful tease."

"Oh you know I am."

Jazz laughed a little and pulled back.

"This is great Prowl! We should tell yer creator! Yeah and then I can finaly meet 'im!"

Prowl looked confused as he leaned back a little to look into Jazz's face more clearly.

"But Jazz, you've already meet my creator."

If it hadn't have been for his tight grip on the mech's aft Jazz would have dropped his presciouse cargo that clung to him.

"W-What'd you mean I've already met yer creator? Who is it?"

Prowl, still with that half amused half confused look, pointed around his right shoulder, directly at the mech sitting on the couch. The blue mech. The blue Datsun mech. Jazz's tanks suddenly disappeared and he could have bet his internal tem. was colder than the ever dropping temperature of Alaska in winter.

_Oh...slag._

The doors opened at that moment and Jazz suddenly had to let Prowl go.

Prowl, oblivious to the stunned mech he was just clinging too, ran over to his sibling with that same happy smile on his face.

"**BLUE!** Guess what!"

Jazz on the other hand just stood there, hidden optics locked with those riding in the shadow of a golden chevron. The other mech, just stared back at Jazz, ever so casually sipping the cube in his hand every now and then. The Blue mech watched his every move, and then suddenly all the things Jazz had said last night came crashing into his processor all at once.

"Well are you just going to stand there like a malfunctioning glitch or are you going to actually do something?"

He didn't even hear the mech's words as his processor went into immediate shut down from the sudden movement of things. His last thought,_ 'Primus this could have gone better.'_ Smokescreen took a sip of the high grade in his hand as he watched the mech in front of him start to slowly sway from side to side.

"Prowl..."

The white and black looked at the older blue.

"I suggest you take your...mate...to see Ratchet."

Slowly walking over, with his little copy walking right behind him, he looked into Jazz's visor. Which was spazzing out along with the hidden optics underneath. Prowl sighed while he placed both his hands on the sides of Jazz's face and shook a little, trying to still the colorful flashes of all the shades of blue in Jazz's visor. It seamed to work for when he stood still Jazz's visor settled on a dark cobalt blue before he fell offline.

"Jazz?"

The other mech just stood there: stiff. Sighing again, Prowl slumped his shoulders, lowering his doorwings in the process.

"Well that went well."

He grabbed a hold of Jazz's arm and looked at Blue. The littler Datsun nodded and bent down, grabbing Jazz's feet and they tilted him back. Making their way to the door they stopped and looked back at the blue mech that still was just sitting back, sipping his high grade.

"We'll be back Smokey!"

"Yeah, as soon as we drop Jazz off at med bay."

Nodding to his creations he raised his cube a little signaling his approval.

"Take your time. I'll be here all night."

Nodding they exited with the offline mech in their hands.

Once the door panels shut tight Smokescreen smirked and let a long held laugh escape his lips. Shaking his head he brought the cube up to his mouth.

"Stupid Jazz."

~~~~Lil' Bonus~~~~

"Hey Prowl?"

Said mech looked over his shoulder at his younger sibling.

"What Blue?"

"How come Smokey doesn't like that your going out with Jazz?"

Turning back to face the empty hall Prowl shrugged.

"Don't know myself."

"I remember when I left Praxus that you were with that noble mech."

"And boy was he happy. He didn't want me to leave that mech's side. But I don't know, honestly he wasn't my type."

"Then why'd you start something with him?"

"To please Smokescreen. He thought I didn't deserve nothing but the best, and the best is a noble mech to him. Well use to be."

Bluestreak craned his head and saw Prowl had on his anti-emotional mask again, any trace of his happy, laughing brother gone.

"Then...how come he hasn't told me that?"

"Because he doesn't know you already started something with a mech. But be prepared Blue. The moment he finds out your with Sunstreaker he's gonna flip."

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well..."

He stopped for a moment, thought about his answer, shook his head then continued walking at a steady pace.

"He's seen the good and bad of all mechs Blue. Think about it. Smokescreen was drafted here. Just like Ironhide and Trailbreaker. Prime was their commanding officer to begin with. He's been here during every moment of the ship's occupant's bad times. The only logical explanation that I can come up with is he doesn't want us to have someone with two different sides to them. For example we've all seen how violent Sunstreaker can get. He doesn't want the mech to accidentally unleash his tirade on you. Remember Blue your the youngest, and to him we're still his younglings. Take Jazz for instance. Jazz has seen and done some pretty messed up slag because of his position in the Special Operations teams. He doesn't want any of Jazz's enemies coming after me to get to Jazz. I'm considered Jazz's weak-point in some of their optics. And especialy in Smokescreen's optics."

"But that still doesn't answer why you started something with that noble mech. If anything noble mechs have a lot of dirty secrets too."

Prowl was silent for a good breem before he sighed and lowered his head a little, doing the same to his doorwings. A mech walked by, one Bluestreak didn't know but none the less they said their hello's and Prowl continued.

"I knew he wasn't happy with the kind of mechs and femmes I was into so I decided to try out a noble that seamed to be interested in me."

"Oh...I guess that...makes sense. You know, you never told me his name."

"You never asked."

"Well..."

Bluestreak smirked as he turned his head to the side.

"...what was his name?"

"You should know. You've met him before."

"But the only noble mech I've ever met was-"

"Mirage....correct."

Bluestreak would have dropped Jazz if it hadn't have been for the fact he had Prowl's optics on him now. A resounding rick laugh echoed down the halls as Prowl walked.

"Your very amusing Bluestreak."

"YA-I-W-ACH-WH-CH-BU-AHH! You went out with...._Mirage!_"

Prowl, now facing straight ahead again, smirked.

"You make it sound like a sin or something."

"But-but-but-but-but....but...but-"

"Like I said, he wasn't my type."

"So what happened? Like when you got re-assigned here?"

"Well...we were still together the first couple of weeks...then...I don't know Jazz started hanging around. The same goes for him and Hound, so I didn't leave him alone."

"You broke it up first?"

"Well he was taking too long. The sooner I got rid of him the sooner I could concentrate on Jazz."

"Heh your cold Prowler."

"Only when I'm determined Blue."

Bluestreak's chuckle brought a smile to Prowl's face. They turned a corner and he continued yet again.

"Don't get me wrong, it was fun being with Mirage but when we were together...it just felt like...were were friends. Just friends. You know?"

"Well didn't you guys kiss and...stuff?"

"We did stuff. We kissed...every now and then."

"Well?"

"Nothing."

"Seriously?"

"Yup."

The doors to the med bay silently slid opened upon their arrival and the moment they stepped a ped inside Bluestreak yelled "RATCHET! WE'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE!"

The look on Ratchet face was enough to even make Prowl laugh iout loud.

"Wha-"

He pointed a red digit in Prowl's direction as they set Jazz down on one of the berths.

"I was expecting you to be-"

"-The one being dragged in? Yeah I know. I get that a lot."

The End...!

Author's Note: So...plot bunny originated...yes the original Plot bunny was:

_Jazz: "What do you mean I've met your creator? Who is it?"  
Prowl: *points at Smokescreen*  
Jazz: *suddenly remembers what he was bragging about last night* *panics*_

Yes well I hope you found this little thing interesting. For the Mirage/Prowl thing...well that was just some crack I thought I'd throw in there cause I didn't want to just keep saying _'noble mech'_ and whenever I did Mirage always came to mind so...yeah. Oh and for the age difference with Prowler and Jazz...well I always read how Jazz was the younger one. So I just thought _'eh it's already got some crack in here, why not put more?'_But I guess that doesn't matter because they live for like ever right? So why not? And the scene where Prowlers acting well...out'ta character is just cause that's how I'd figure a youngling would act if he got that opportunity.

Hey it was just for fun. Anyway thanks for reading! Please review and tell me what you think.


End file.
